.Publisher's Note: The adhering to is the text of a letter from Trip Three Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Resigned), reflecting on the activities of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't written very much regarding specifics of this particular purpose throughout the month I've been here, primarily for 2 main reasons: the first being that there has actually been actually incredibly little opportunity to accomplish that kind of writing, and second of all due to the fact that I am actually not exactly sure just how pleasant I am actually sharing notions I show family and friends along with the remainder of the globe.Properly, clearly the world changed today. What I claim or perform is really slight reviewed to the importance of what happened to our nation today when it was attacked through ... through whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we understand, I reckon. Challenging to know at whom to direct our anger and also concern ...I had only ended up an amount of activities this morning, the best lengthy being the physical exams of all team members. In a personal chat adhering to that, the air travel surgeon informed me they were actually possessing an incredibly poor time on the ground. I had no idea ...He defined the circumstance to me as greatest he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually shocked, then horrified. My initial thought and feelings was that this had not been an actual chat, that I was actually still listening closely to some of my Tom Clancy tapes. It just didn't seem to be achievable on this incrustation in our nation. I could not also visualize the particulars, also prior to the headlines of further damage began can be found in.Vladimir came fairly swiftly, noticing that something very significant was actually being actually talked about. I swung Michael into the module too. They were actually additionally blown away and stunned. After our company authorized off, I made an effort to discuss to Vladimir as well as Michael as finest I can the prospective size of this particular show of horror in midtown Manhattan and also at the Government. They precisely recognized and also were actually incredibly thoughtful.I eyed the Globe Chart on the computer system to see where over the world our experts were actually as well as discovered that our team were actually coming southeast out of Canada as well as will be skipping New England in a couple of minutes. I zoomed around the station till I located a window that would give me a view of NYC and nabbed the local electronic camera. It took place to be a camera, and I was actually looking south coming from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke seemed to possess a strange bloom to it at the bottom of the pillar that was streaming south of the area. After reading among the news articles we simply acquired, I feel our experts were actually looking at NY around the time of, or even shortly after, the collapse of the second tower. How awful ...I swept the electronic camera the whole time the East Shoreline to the south to see if I could possibly view any other smoke around Washington, or even anywhere else, however nothing at all was visible.It was rather hard to think of work afterwards, though our experts had some to do, yet on the next orbit our team crossed the US more southern. All three of us were actually operating one or two cameras to make an effort to receive views of The big apple or Washington. There was actually haze over Washington, yet no details resource can be observed. It all looked amazing coming from 2 to 3 hundred miles away. I can not visualize the heartbreaking scenes on the ground.Besides the psychological effect of our nation being attacked as well as thousands of our people and also possibly some friends being actually eliminated, the best frustrating feeling being where I am actually is just one of isolation.Following time ... I think the fatigue and emotional tension obtained the most ideal of me. I could not stay awake and continue to write. Today was still challenging, however our team began getting even more relevant information, plus our team had the tribute of talking straight along with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, that ensured our company that the ground staffs will remain to operate and guarantee our safety and security, as well as the risk-free function of the Place. Our team additionally talked to our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, who included that the partners in the Course are all completely dedicated to continuing secure procedures and help. These were never questions for me. I recognize all these folks! The ground crews have been actually exceptionally helpful, extremely understanding of the impact of the information, and have actually made an effort to become as helpful as achievable. They have actually all been actually extremely qualified and also focused though I can not picture the distraction of the type of headlines can be found in and also the thought and feelings that authorities properties could be in jeopardy. They certainly never avoided a beat, even when relocating control centers. And also a group of elderly staffs and also pals gave us a quite complete briefing about what was actually recognized and what was being actually performed in the authorities as well as at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was very helpful as well as kind of them to accomplish in the middle of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has also been actually supporting and also practical, trying to uplink newspaper article when our own possessions were unusable, and also saying kind words ...My crewmates have actually been actually wonderful, as well. They know it is actually been actually a difficult day for me and the folks on the ground, and also they've tried to become as also keeled and helpful as possible. Michael even corrected me my favored Borscht soup for supper. As well as they give me loads of area to think when I needed it. They are actually very supportive as well as obviously outraged at whoever would do this.I recognize a lot of folks in Washington, a lot of individuals that take a trip to DC as well as New York City, a lot of who are pilots, that I experienced sure I would certainly acquire at least a handful of items of trouble over the next few times. I obtained the first one today when I found out that the Leader of the American Airlines jet that reached the Government was actually Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I met Chic during cadet summer when our experts resided in the D&B with each other, and our company had great deals of courses with each other. I can not envision what he needs to of experienced, as well as right now I hear that he might have increased even further than our experts can easily even think of through probably preventing his airplane from being the one to tackle the White Home. What a horrible loss, but I'm sure Chic was fighting fearlessly to the end. As well as tears do not flow the very same precede ...It is actually challenging to define exactly how it feels to become the only American totally off the planet each time like this. The feeling that I ought to exist along with each one of you, dealing with this, helping somehow, is actually mind-boggling. I know that we get on the limit (or beyond) of a horrendous shift in the past of the planet. Several things will certainly certainly never coincide once again after September 11, 2001. Not simply for the 1000s and also lots of individuals directly impacted through these hideous process of terrorism, however perhaps for all of us. Our team will definitely locate ourselves experiencing in different ways regarding lots of points, including perhaps space expedition, regrettably.It is actually dreadful to observe smoke cigarettes putting from wounds in your very own nation coming from such a wonderful perspective. The duality of performing a space capsule dedicated to enhancing everyday life on the planet as well as checking out life being ruined through such planned, dreadful process is jolting to the subconscious, despite who you are. As well as the expertise that every little thing are going to be different than when our team introduced due to the opportunity our experts land is actually a little disconcerting. I believe in our country and also in our management that our team will do every thing possible to better shield her and also our family members, and to carry justice for what has actually been actually carried out. I possess confidence that the excellent individuals at NASA will perform every little thing necessary to proceed our mission securely as well as return our team safely and securely at the correct time. And I skip each of you very much. I can't be there with you face to face, and our team possess a long way to go to finish our mission, yet be actually particular that my center is actually along with you, as well as know you remain in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the last character ... Luckily, it's been actually a busy full week up here. And to prove that, like our country, our company are advancing our intended path along with business customarily (as much as possible). Tonight the latest add-on to the station, the Russian Docking Area will definitely be introduced from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (US time), it will dock along with our company, at a slot certainly never utilized before on the low point side of the Company Component. This new component is going to offer our team yet another spot to dock a Progress or Soyuz as well as are going to give a huge airlock along with 2 able to be used hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan suits, which our team will definitely carry out a few of just before our experts return.The trouble before in handling recently was insufficient news. The complication now is a lot of. It arrived at one time when email was actually brought back, and there is actually not nearly enough time to review all of it! Plus it is actually too hard to take care of all of it simultaneously. However I enjoy receiving it, and I really cherish the excellent letters of support and friendly relationship I am actually getting.Our team are actually succeeding on board, receiving our work done, and also discussing factors. Last night our experts had a lengthy conversation over dinner concerning the significance of these occasions, the achievable actions to adhere to, and what must be carried out. After supper, Michael resolved telling me that every e-mail he received coming from friends in Russia claimed exclusively to tell me how sorry they were that this happened, prolonging their acknowledgements, and also inquiring how I was doing. Vladimir educated me the Russian word for "acknowledgements" after speaking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star City. (Both the Russian and the English terms are actually much too long to articulate quickly.) Quite types folks.For the final two days, the Russian MCC has actually sufficed to transmit online programs of broadcast news about the event and also connected stories, to be sure I was effectively notified. Every specialist who has actually come on free throw line to go over a method or even a complication has at some aspect expanded introductions to me along with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom told our team that due to the big day of recognition in the United States, throughout the day individuals had actually been actually delivering blossoms and also lining all the wall structures of the US consulate in Moscow, as well as this evening they were lighting candlesticks in the road outside the embassy. Just how the planet has altered.Folks anywhere seem to acknowledge the senselessness and terror in this particular assault. And also the enormous loss. Moscow has coped with these type of complications in the last handful of years along with house and also metro battles, so they are actually as restless to get rid of this threat as we are. Yet the bottom collection is actually that there are good individuals almost everywhere who desire to live in peace. I review that a child asked, "The United States is actually therefore great to various other nations, we constantly assist everyone, how can they dislike our company a lot?".I wish the example of teamwork and depend on that this space capsule plus all individuals in the course display daily will sooner or later motivate the remainder of the globe to function the same way. They must!Unfortunately, our experts won't be actually piloting over the US during the time people are actually lighting candle lights. Don't know if our company can view that anyway. We performed, however, view a quite uncommon and wonderful sight a handful of moments ago: the launch of our Docking Area on a Soyuz enhancer. We were actually eclipsing it and also it appeared regarding 3 minutes after its launch coming from Baikonur as the sunshine attacked our station, so it was actually still unaware. It seemed like a sizable comet with a directly, wide tail silhouetted against the darker planet below. Despite some negative lighting fixtures for some time as the sun struck our home window at a reduced viewpoint, I dealt with some video recording of it as first we passed the rocket, and afterwards watched it start to mesmerize as it got height as well as speed. I filmed until principal engine cutoff and also booster separation developed equally our team came close to sunrise on the Himalayas. An extraordinary sight in an extraordinary week ...Life happens, even precede. Our company're below to keep ... Frank.